![]() When we know what another person’s love language is, we can choose the gestures that will most resonate with our partner, friend, parent or child. No matter your situation - whether you’re living alone, spending 24/7 with a partner or roommates, living with adult kids or steering younger kids through virtual school - the five love languages are a highly effective set of tools to have in your relational toolkit. ![]() In relationships, it’s essential to learn the emotional currency of the humans we hold dear and identifying their love language is part of it. In this way, love is a bit like a country’s currency: One coin or bill has great value in a particular country, less value in the countries that border it, and zero value in many other countries. Some of us will only be content when we hear the words “I love you,” some prize quality time together, while some will feel most cared for when our partner scrubs the toilet. Implicit to the concept is a common-sense idea: We don’t feel or experience love in the same way. What I find so helpful about love languages is that they express a basic truth. Some of the published studies confirm the validity of love languages, revealing they can increase people’s relationship satisfaction and longevity. I’m a relationship researcher, and while I haven’t empirically studied the love languages concept, other academics have. The five love languages refer to the five simple ways that we want love to be shown to us and the ways that we show others love. Because the concept - first created by counselor and pastor Gary Chapman, unpacked in a series of books, and picked up by many others - has spread far and wide. Have you ever been asked “What’s your love language?”Ĭhances are, you have.
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